Life is fantastic. Just today, I found that I had a little extra time on my hands before work. Coffee! However, not enough time for the Starbucks kind. .but time for the McDonald’s kind, since it’s on the way to work. So I roll up only to find a wet drive-thru driveway. Now. . Don’t get me wrong but I can always appreciate a clean driveway; but the day after I wash my car? Absolutely not. My good day was now dampened by the Hispanic man holding the hose near my car. I finished ordering and waited for the man to cross in front of my car to get out of the way. His hose was looped over itself and I thought to myself. . “If I were outside right now and that was my sister, I would totally step on it.” Just then it occurred to me that wheels could be feet. So I did it. I intentionally drove over the man’s hose all the while looking in my right side mirror. His arm slung back as the hose lost all slack instantly and he tripped back, nearly sending him to the ground. But he never hit the ground so I guess I didn’t feel bad.
I continued to the first window and sat for about 3 seconds until the white woman trotted around the corner and opened the window and said, “Sorry! I had to tinkle.” Ehhhhhhhhh. Unfortunately I didn’t have the exact change to DROP into her hand.
Next window. I glanced into my rear view mirror to see I big work truck with two Hispanic men in the front seats and a ridiculously good looking woman in the back, middle seat. Not only was she beautiful but she had this great, yet stupid for the situation, smile on her face. That didn’t move. . .upon further staring I noticed she was actually a life size cardboard cut-out. What. The. F.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
"I change the sheets everytime I run out of socks."
So last night I stayed the night with my parents. Due to my back problems and being my parents' baby, i get the priveledge of sleeping in my mom's bed. When I got in last night, I kicked a piece of cloth at the end of the bed and immediately freaked. SOCK! I don't know why, but the feeling of someone else's used sock on my skin is. . . unacceptable. . and creepy. . . and gross.
me: EWW. [went from straight lay out position to fetal]
mama: What? Did you find a sock?
me: yessss.
mama: There is probably another one down there too.
me: Why do you always have socks in your bed? Just stop wearing socks.
mama: Sometimes, when I change the sheets, there will be a whole pile of them in that little lip at the end.
me: Oh geez. . how often do you change the sheets?
mama: . . .when i run out of socks.
me: [laughter]. . .gross.
mama: [giggles] Yeah i change my sheets everytime i run out of socks.
mama: just kidding.
me: I have to write that down.
mama: I hate it when you do that. No one needs to know. It's not even funny.
me: You're right. . I will have to blog about it.
the end.
me: EWW. [went from straight lay out position to fetal]
mama: What? Did you find a sock?
me: yessss.
mama: There is probably another one down there too.
me: Why do you always have socks in your bed? Just stop wearing socks.
mama: Sometimes, when I change the sheets, there will be a whole pile of them in that little lip at the end.
me: Oh geez. . how often do you change the sheets?
mama: . . .when i run out of socks.
me: [laughter]. . .gross.
mama: [giggles] Yeah i change my sheets everytime i run out of socks.
mama: just kidding.
me: I have to write that down.
mama: I hate it when you do that. No one needs to know. It's not even funny.
me: You're right. . I will have to blog about it.
the end.
Friday, April 30, 2010
his name is earl. .
[i found this old gem today whilst looking through my old facebook 'notes'.]
so. . i was sitting quietly at work when an old man walks in(79 years old). . .he had been mowing all day. 15 acres across the street and another 80 acres down the road. unfortunately his boss forgot about him, so his truck which was down the road at the 80 acres had his lunch and "ice cold" water in it. after about number 3. . i started taking notes.
the following are the multiple topics (my only responses for the duration of this one-sided conversation (45 min) were a series of "hmmm's" and nods.) [in order]
1.) the DL on mowing.
2.) once when he was mowing, there was a big ole coyote that jumps out of the trees. and into a pile of grass into a rats nest. but today, in the 15 acres and the 80 acres he hadn't "jumped a rat yet".
3.) "i married a girl at 17 and had me two kids by 18, now how'd that happen?. . . twins! ole eddie dean and freddy gene." they are still alive.
4.) his wife died and he misses her.
5.) there is a restaurant down the road (in newcastle) that used to be called Bob's Wrangler. you could get a cup of coffee for 27cents. now a cup of coffee sells for $1.70, if you get food. if you only get coffee, it's $1.78.
6.) "have you ever drove an 18-wheeler across the golden gate bridge?" you can see it in the distance. the closer you get, the more excited you get. he's driven in boston. new york city. chicago. all them towns. [he may have said something racist about chicago. . but i can't be sure]
7.) "tried to learn smoking once. in 1950. you know we'd go back behind the gym and light up then go to class. i threw up for 4 days in a row. so i guess i never learned to smoke good."
8.) he guzzlesd a pint of whiskey once and passed out. [1950 also] he wanted to die the next day. never drank or lit up since.
9.) "i wanted a motorcycle so i got me one. boss wouldn't let me take it to kansas though. loaded it up anyway"
10.) had a girlfriend in kansas named Vilda.
11.) broke his arms in several places. [pointed them out] and his hand was dead.
12.) "ran into a train cuz i was thinking about that girl." (vilda) he was unconscious for 14 days and his mama had to save some money to come see him.
13.) he got married in 1951 when he got back to oklahoma. not to vilda.
14.) "told the doctor in '52 in san diego that my left hand was dead. doc said 'we'll just see about that' and he took a needle about this long and poked me. blood was squirtin out this high. then he did it again there and there in my hand. doctor scratched his head and said 'i know how to fix that'. then he went and got a hammer and hit me in the hand. i didn't move and the doctor goes 'that hand is DEAD!' then i said i know."
15.) "1960 the Lord saved me."
16.) 1963 the Lord heeled his hand.
17.) "Got a steel plate in my head. train crushed my skull. folks at the airfield will flock atcha."
18.) he got zapped once while welding and passed out.
19.) "worked at tinker field. they had some pipe there."
20.) his boss made him crawl down a manhole then forgot about him. there were gas and chemical fumes down there so he passed out. an hour later they remembered he was down there and had to drag him out. scraped him all up.
21.) "i haven't been sick in 40 years. i feel just fine."
22.) "my daughter went on a boat tour. i think they call it a cruise now."
23.) "gotta go to festivals by myself."
24.) there is a festival in el reno. they make a big burger with 5 cans of onions and a lot of mustard.
25.) "im so proud of my john deere. she's got air condition."
so. . i was sitting quietly at work when an old man walks in(79 years old). . .he had been mowing all day. 15 acres across the street and another 80 acres down the road. unfortunately his boss forgot about him, so his truck which was down the road at the 80 acres had his lunch and "ice cold" water in it. after about number 3. . i started taking notes.
the following are the multiple topics (my only responses for the duration of this one-sided conversation (45 min) were a series of "hmmm's" and nods.) [in order]
1.) the DL on mowing.
2.) once when he was mowing, there was a big ole coyote that jumps out of the trees. and into a pile of grass into a rats nest. but today, in the 15 acres and the 80 acres he hadn't "jumped a rat yet".
3.) "i married a girl at 17 and had me two kids by 18, now how'd that happen?. . . twins! ole eddie dean and freddy gene." they are still alive.
4.) his wife died and he misses her.
5.) there is a restaurant down the road (in newcastle) that used to be called Bob's Wrangler. you could get a cup of coffee for 27cents. now a cup of coffee sells for $1.70, if you get food. if you only get coffee, it's $1.78.
6.) "have you ever drove an 18-wheeler across the golden gate bridge?" you can see it in the distance. the closer you get, the more excited you get. he's driven in boston. new york city. chicago. all them towns. [he may have said something racist about chicago. . but i can't be sure]
7.) "tried to learn smoking once. in 1950. you know we'd go back behind the gym and light up then go to class. i threw up for 4 days in a row. so i guess i never learned to smoke good."
8.) he guzzlesd a pint of whiskey once and passed out. [1950 also] he wanted to die the next day. never drank or lit up since.
9.) "i wanted a motorcycle so i got me one. boss wouldn't let me take it to kansas though. loaded it up anyway"
10.) had a girlfriend in kansas named Vilda.
11.) broke his arms in several places. [pointed them out] and his hand was dead.
12.) "ran into a train cuz i was thinking about that girl." (vilda) he was unconscious for 14 days and his mama had to save some money to come see him.
13.) he got married in 1951 when he got back to oklahoma. not to vilda.
14.) "told the doctor in '52 in san diego that my left hand was dead. doc said 'we'll just see about that' and he took a needle about this long and poked me. blood was squirtin out this high. then he did it again there and there in my hand. doctor scratched his head and said 'i know how to fix that'. then he went and got a hammer and hit me in the hand. i didn't move and the doctor goes 'that hand is DEAD!' then i said i know."
15.) "1960 the Lord saved me."
16.) 1963 the Lord heeled his hand.
17.) "Got a steel plate in my head. train crushed my skull. folks at the airfield will flock atcha."
18.) he got zapped once while welding and passed out.
19.) "worked at tinker field. they had some pipe there."
20.) his boss made him crawl down a manhole then forgot about him. there were gas and chemical fumes down there so he passed out. an hour later they remembered he was down there and had to drag him out. scraped him all up.
21.) "i haven't been sick in 40 years. i feel just fine."
22.) "my daughter went on a boat tour. i think they call it a cruise now."
23.) "gotta go to festivals by myself."
24.) there is a festival in el reno. they make a big burger with 5 cans of onions and a lot of mustard.
25.) "im so proud of my john deere. she's got air condition."
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Oh, well in that case. .
Last night, the news let me know that I had until 2014 to buy some sort of health insurance or I would be fined.
Is that a threat?
Is that a threat?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
amazed. .
I went to my best friend’s great grandfather’s funeral this past weekend and it was the most inspiring and uplifting funeral I had ever attended. They are a truly great family. I was so overcome with emotion and thankfulness to even have had the pleasure of meeting grandpa Lloyd that I started thinking about everyone else in my life that I was thankful for just knowing. This man had such an influential impact on everyone he met. 99years is a long time to keep on impacting too! He always brought up Christ and scripture in everyday conversation, no matter who he was talking to. He planted spiritual seeds in all of his family and friends. So many in that family have a heart for God and often bring up or start off with Grandpa Lloyd’s favorite, John 1, into any situation. These people that he planted seeds in are now producing great fruit for our Father! Just being at that funeral gave me hope. You can be overfull with faith in Christ already but then be around people who you can physically see Christ working through and using to make a difference in other’s lives, it is awesome. That funeral was just JOYful; a celebration. It was a celebration of a fruitful life; the life of a man who was completely obedient and dedicated to serving God and others.
With all of this fresh in my heart throughout the rest of the procession and graveside WORSHIP service, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and love for all of my family and friends. I wanted to let everyone know how thankful I am for them just being in my life. I am convinced that God has strategically placed everyone, I have ever met, in my life for a reason. So, I decide the best way for me to express my love was by text, at that point in time. My reception was about to go out as we got closer to Chelsea’s house. I can only select 10 people at a time to mass text. Never did it cross my mind that this (or mass texting in general) was insincere. It just so happens that everyone I know wasn’t in the same place as me at that moment and I didn’t have a mega phone to express. Texting was the only viable option right then.
The next day I get a text from a friend letting me know, more or less, that my mass texting was not appreciated and sometimes a topic of discussion among a certain group of friends. It’s just not personalized. . This upset me for a while until I was able to cool down. I could have easily skipped over different people, but I chose them in particularly. If they don’t appreciate it then I wonder why someone would even want to be more than acquaintances. Apparently I have this problem. I tend to value everyone I meet and gladly call them a friend. ‘Acquaintance’ is such a gray word. I prefer black and white when it comes to life issues. But these days everything seems gray.
Conclusion: I’ll just stop contacting them, because that’s what friends do. ;)
With all of this fresh in my heart throughout the rest of the procession and graveside WORSHIP service, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and love for all of my family and friends. I wanted to let everyone know how thankful I am for them just being in my life. I am convinced that God has strategically placed everyone, I have ever met, in my life for a reason. So, I decide the best way for me to express my love was by text, at that point in time. My reception was about to go out as we got closer to Chelsea’s house. I can only select 10 people at a time to mass text. Never did it cross my mind that this (or mass texting in general) was insincere. It just so happens that everyone I know wasn’t in the same place as me at that moment and I didn’t have a mega phone to express. Texting was the only viable option right then.
The next day I get a text from a friend letting me know, more or less, that my mass texting was not appreciated and sometimes a topic of discussion among a certain group of friends. It’s just not personalized. . This upset me for a while until I was able to cool down. I could have easily skipped over different people, but I chose them in particularly. If they don’t appreciate it then I wonder why someone would even want to be more than acquaintances. Apparently I have this problem. I tend to value everyone I meet and gladly call them a friend. ‘Acquaintance’ is such a gray word. I prefer black and white when it comes to life issues. But these days everything seems gray.
Conclusion: I’ll just stop contacting them, because that’s what friends do. ;)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
hysteria. .
I learned something about myself today. But first I will start out by saying that if you are sick or pregnant, please spare me the details of your condition. After listening to a segment on morning talk radio today (Dr. Mindy on WILD104.9) I found myself. .physically uncomfortable. They were discussing one of the absent radio personalities, Heather’s, pregnancy. Heather is 37 weeks pregnant and was absent because she was feeling light headed. Her doctor told her to rest, drink lots of water, and lay on her left side. Dr. Mindy then started to explain why she was told to lay on her left side. Apparently, there is a major blood vessel that pumps blood back to the heart from the uterus (or something) that is on the right side. Due to Heather’s high blood pressure, laying on the left side would help the flow. I then all of a sudden began feeling, what I would think, pregnancy would feel like. I got really nauseous and could almost feel the blood in my veins and a baby in my . . womb. I hate that word as a word, but it is what it is.
The next caller talked about getting bit by a spider and developing cellulitis. As she described the symptoms she had developed over the course of taking her prescribed antibiotics, I began to notice that I, myself, had cellulitis too!! I started to itch and got a pain in my arm. It was probably just coincidence that the caller had got bitten on the arm as well. Anyway, I began to get stressed out because I don’t have health insurance and the Indian Clinic is about 2 months overbooked. Great.
Let’s just say, I decided to turn off the radio and take some drinks of my water. I thought a calm environment and plenty of fluids would help with my new ailments. And since I was decidedly pregnant, for the moment, I needed to be free of all stress. Stress is bad for both me and the child in question.
I made it to work and here we are. Baby and cellulitis free! :)
The next caller talked about getting bit by a spider and developing cellulitis. As she described the symptoms she had developed over the course of taking her prescribed antibiotics, I began to notice that I, myself, had cellulitis too!! I started to itch and got a pain in my arm. It was probably just coincidence that the caller had got bitten on the arm as well. Anyway, I began to get stressed out because I don’t have health insurance and the Indian Clinic is about 2 months overbooked. Great.
Let’s just say, I decided to turn off the radio and take some drinks of my water. I thought a calm environment and plenty of fluids would help with my new ailments. And since I was decidedly pregnant, for the moment, I needed to be free of all stress. Stress is bad for both me and the child in question.
I made it to work and here we are. Baby and cellulitis free! :)
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