the best part of waking up is. . .

Life is fantastic. Just today, I found that I had a little extra time on my hands before work. Coffee! However, not enough time for the Starbucks kind. .but time for the McDonald’s kind, since it’s on the way to work. So I roll up only to find a wet drive-thru driveway. Now. . Don’t get me wrong but I can always appreciate a clean driveway; but the day after I wash my car? Absolutely not. My good day was now dampened by the Hispanic man holding the hose near my car. I finished ordering and waited for the man to cross in front of my car to get out of the way. His hose was looped over itself and I thought to myself. . “If I were outside right now and that was my sister, I would totally step on it.” Just then it occurred to me that wheels could be feet. So I did it. I intentionally drove over the man’s hose all the while looking in my right side mirror. His arm slung back as the hose lost all slack instantly and he tripped back, nearly sending him to the ground. But he never hit the ground so I guess I didn’t feel bad.

I continued to the first window and sat for about 3 seconds until the white woman trotted around the corner and opened the window and said, “Sorry! I had to tinkle.” Ehhhhhhhhh. Unfortunately I didn’t have the exact change to DROP into her hand.

Next window. I glanced into my rear view mirror to see I big work truck with two Hispanic men in the front seats and a ridiculously good looking woman in the back, middle seat. Not only was she beautiful but she had this great, yet stupid for the situation, smile on her face. That didn’t move. . .upon further staring I noticed she was actually a life size cardboard cut-out. What. The. F.