they say you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. but.. what if you only have one egg?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
match flavored cookies maybe?..
so.. i grabbed a handful of quakers oatmeal squares (dry cereal) for lunch and after eating about 4 squares, they started tasting a lot like campho-phenique.. smells. it may or may not have been the paranoia that caused my mouth to itch.. but it was definitely the paranoia that led me to eat the rest of the handful.
campho-phenique is my favorite smell, next to matches and campfire. it's not everyday you can eat your favorite smell (if your favorite smell is campho-phenique, matches, or campfire).. in cereal form.. without getting ill and/or setting yourself on fire. i grabbed another handful for the drive back to work.
campho-phenique is my favorite smell, next to matches and campfire. it's not everyday you can eat your favorite smell (if your favorite smell is campho-phenique, matches, or campfire).. in cereal form.. without getting ill and/or setting yourself on fire. i grabbed another handful for the drive back to work.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
movie rumors..
Rumor has it.. laughter repairs the liver. That being said.. 'The Hangover 2' will not repair the liver. 'Bridesmaids', however, is like a liver transplant.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
getting dumped while sleeping..
Guys are like jack-in-the-boxes.. it's all good, happy music, then.. POP! goes the weasel.. at 2:30 in the morning.
or so it goes..
or so it goes..
Friday, February 4, 2011
thinking inside the box..wine.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Day 2 of being snowed in. My friend, we’ll call her Kate, had made it over to our house for a movie marathon: You Again, Life As We Know It, The Switch. Being the crowd it was.. wine was involved. Throughout the duration of 3 movies, one can’t focus on how much wine one is consuming. There are too many plots to follow. Had no wine been consumed.. one would have realized that the plots were not hard to follow, and were in fact, spelled out in previews..
Anyway, just before bed, my mind was flooded with thoughts. Apparently.. because I had written them down on the back of a birthday banner, then presented them to my roommate, we’ll call her Amanda, as the first chapter of my book.
Things I’ve learned from being snowed in:
1.) A walk in the snow is NO walk in the park.. with a sidewalk or grass.
2.) Tip for first time Mario-Karters: Don’t overcorrect.. you will die and assume 11th or 12th place.
3.) Food.. knows no bounds.
4.) Replacing alcohol with food only makes food more desirable. (I think I meant ‘replacing food with alcohol’)
5.) Insanity comes in cupcake shapes.
6.) Cleanliness has its ups & downs.
7.) My architecture writing looks good.
8.) Finishing the Chelsea Handler series leaves you feeling.. teased.
9.) Having wood floors.. you find your limits.
10.) Your best ideas come Franzia induced.
11.) You learn from shows, things you never thought were possible:
-I learned more in 30minutes of Cash Cab than I learned in 4 years of Newcastle High.
-How to fire/tenant proof an entire apartment for ‘Income Property’. <3 HGTV
12.) How much TV sucks.. American Pie, Tombstone, and I Am Legend apparently have all the same commercial breaks. Not even How I Met Your Mother competes.
Day 2 of being snowed in. My friend, we’ll call her Kate, had made it over to our house for a movie marathon: You Again, Life As We Know It, The Switch. Being the crowd it was.. wine was involved. Throughout the duration of 3 movies, one can’t focus on how much wine one is consuming. There are too many plots to follow. Had no wine been consumed.. one would have realized that the plots were not hard to follow, and were in fact, spelled out in previews..
Anyway, just before bed, my mind was flooded with thoughts. Apparently.. because I had written them down on the back of a birthday banner, then presented them to my roommate, we’ll call her Amanda, as the first chapter of my book.
Things I’ve learned from being snowed in:
1.) A walk in the snow is NO walk in the park.. with a sidewalk or grass.
2.) Tip for first time Mario-Karters: Don’t overcorrect.. you will die and assume 11th or 12th place.
3.) Food.. knows no bounds.
4.) Replacing alcohol with food only makes food more desirable. (I think I meant ‘replacing food with alcohol’)
5.) Insanity comes in cupcake shapes.
6.) Cleanliness has its ups & downs.
7.) My architecture writing looks good.
8.) Finishing the Chelsea Handler series leaves you feeling.. teased.
9.) Having wood floors.. you find your limits.
10.) Your best ideas come Franzia induced.
11.) You learn from shows, things you never thought were possible:
-I learned more in 30minutes of Cash Cab than I learned in 4 years of Newcastle High.
-How to fire/tenant proof an entire apartment for ‘Income Property’. <3 HGTV
12.) How much TV sucks.. American Pie, Tombstone, and I Am Legend apparently have all the same commercial breaks. Not even How I Met Your Mother competes.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
pasty situation..
This story is arguably not funny. My argument, of course, being that it is funny. My cousin’s argument, being that it is not funny.
It was Saturday morning and my cousin and I were in the bathroom, talking about the night before. She was getting ready, because she has a life, and I sat Indian-style on the toilet.. lid. I then noticed that there was two hardened toothpaste globs down the bathroom counter. Amanda saw me starring at them and decided to get a look herself.. then she exclaimed “That’s where it went!!” I lost it.. so hard that I involuntarily aborted my indian-style pose. She then began to explain herself.. Monday morning, when she was brushing her teeth she had made a movement that forced the toothpaste of the brush. Then she began reenacting how she looked around for the missing paste.. even rubbing her foot around on the multi-colored rug for an extended period of time. She gave up, hence its presence now.
…she was right. This isn’t that funny.. sorry guys.
It was Saturday morning and my cousin and I were in the bathroom, talking about the night before. She was getting ready, because she has a life, and I sat Indian-style on the toilet.. lid. I then noticed that there was two hardened toothpaste globs down the bathroom counter. Amanda saw me starring at them and decided to get a look herself.. then she exclaimed “That’s where it went!!” I lost it.. so hard that I involuntarily aborted my indian-style pose. She then began to explain herself.. Monday morning, when she was brushing her teeth she had made a movement that forced the toothpaste of the brush. Then she began reenacting how she looked around for the missing paste.. even rubbing her foot around on the multi-colored rug for an extended period of time. She gave up, hence its presence now.
…she was right. This isn’t that funny.. sorry guys.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
amy lately..
"I know having a baby is a huge responsibility. It's at least a five year commitment, and I would be silly to think I was ready for it." -Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. (p81)
The world's goal: procreation.
My goal: seeing how many knots can be tied with my fallopian tubes.
The world's goal: procreation.
My goal: seeing how many knots can be tied with my fallopian tubes.
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